I'm not sure how many times I have witnessed or heard someone say "He doesn't love me like I need to be loved" or "She has no idea what I need" Not only are we a victim of not feeling properly loved, but we are also the culprit. It is easy for me to say, I feel loved by words of affirmation and physical touch, but just because I need that, it doesn't necessarily mean that is what everyone needs. It is all to simple to show your love for someone else through the ways
you feel loved; we need to remember what others need.
Words of Affirmation Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
You planning on citing your source? :)
ReplyDeleteI read and loved the book (you're refferring to). It's a really good jumping off point for lots of conversations, and improving relationships.... not just spouses. I found this really helped me understand others in my life. As well as really determine what makes me the happiest.
p.s. I tried to vote... but this survey didn't like that I had three answers! :)
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